i know for a fact that my life has changed. for the better or worse, i am still to find out. i still feel that life has it's little quest and mission for me. i do not know where to go and which path to take. little by little, i tend to move forward and backward, constantly getting confused of what am i suppose to be doing. life now has taken a toll on me. it has probably taken over my life. regaining it back just means that i have to strive and fight harder to win back my life i once had. life i once enjoyed to the fullest, life i once felt happy for, life which i would have died for.

i have never learnt so much in so little time. many people has cross my path and i thank them, sincerely from my heart. but the real problem here is me. i cant seem to find out what is really wrong with me. i cant seem to find the right way when everyone is pointing at the right direction. i tend to get lost easily with or without help. finding refuge in someone is what i do best. getting out of my comfort zone is not. but there is always this feeling that tells me to get out of it and live life. i do not want to stay this way forever as i do not know how long i can take this anymore. people may think that i am such a loser or fool for feeling this way but i cant help it, nor can anyone else.

greed has been seeing eye to eye with me or the other way around. either way, greed is what everyone wants. greed makes people do stupid little things. it tends to make us all confused and with that, we end up doing something we would regret sooner or later. i know i have.

today would most probably be the last time i cried of the past. no more tears over spilt milk.
rick.